Confidence
The Lioness Does Not Apologize for Taking Up Space
Apologizing for ambition trains the room to discount it. Stop funding your own diminishment.
By Lisa Copeland · · 2 min read
Listen to how accomplished women introduce themselves. "I sort of run a small company." "I just help people with their homes." "I've been lucky."
Every hedge is a discount coupon you handed to the room before anyone asked for one.
The habits worth breaking
- The pre-apology. "Sorry, this might be a dumb question."
- The minimizer. Just, only, sort of, a little.
- The credit deflection. "The team did it," when you built and led the team.
- The nervous discount. Naming your price and immediately offering to lower it.
- The upward inflection that turns a statement into a request for approval.
You are not being arrogant. You are being accurate. The discomfort you feel is the training wearing off.
Replace them with something plain
State the fact. "I run a firm that does X. Last year we did Y. My fee is Z." No decoration, no apology, no laugh at the end. Then stop talking and let the silence sit.
What changes when you do
People take you at your own valuation, because they always have. Referrals improve, because you become describable. Negotiations shorten. And younger women in the room hear a version of professional womanhood that does not require constant self-erasure.
Taking up space is not a character flaw. At this stage, it is the responsible use of everything you have learned.